Just as I was about to publish today’s scheduled blog post, I decided to put it on the back burner. Instead of advice on seating, I thought I would share where I am sitting today.
In an all too familiar place, coffee by my side, I am trying to reschedule morning meetings, again. Still in my pajamas, it is 9:10am. I won’t change into “real clothes” probably for another few hours. Hopefully, sooner, but likely not. Unexpectedly, and without warning my gears need to shift. I had planned on being out the door at 7:30am for school drop off and then an early morning meeting, with several calls following to various clients and a few prospective clients. All of that will have to wait. You see, my daughter woke at 5am, with a stomach bug. This means caring for her, ensuring she feels safe and comforted. She is my priority. Yet, I now feel terrible. Not sick, but torn between professionalism and motherhood.
I am a professional business owner, with high expectations for myself, and my company. My clients have high expectations, expect a certain level of professionalism and that is why I get hired for the job. Here is why I am torn. I never considered myself a stay at home mom. In fact, up until last year, I worked all the time. My daughter spent time at daycare, summer camps and when those were not open, I had a nanny. But I changed all that a year and half ago. I changed her destiny and the quality of our our lives. I wanted to be a mom that was present. I rearranged my life, my goals and my priorities. My daughter would be first and foremost in my life. But here I sit, with my coffee, her by my side, sick and I am frustrated. I am frustrated because I have a job to do and I can’t get it done. I remind myself, I am not an event planner today. Today I am a mom. Of course, everything I need to get done, will get done at some point, just not today.
While sipping my second cup of coffee, it dawned on me. I should not be frustrated. I am proud to be a mom, and caring for your child when they are ill is part of being a parent. I shifted the balance between work and family so I could care for my daughter and spend a part of everyday enjoying life together. It would be great if there were on-call babysitters, ready to jump up and run to your rescue in the middle of the work week with zero notice, but that is not reality. This is life, the wonderful life I created.I read this great article awhile back on the New York Times website and I went back and re-read it today. Not sure if I am a true “momprenuer” but, I love the message of the post. I’ll never pretend there is not a mini me running around in my life. In fact, my daughter is what grounds and inspires me and makes me who I am today – a mom, a business owner, an event planner. So today, my daughter is ill and I cannot make meetings. I won’t make another excuse as to why I cannot meet.
Then I was back to being torn and on my third cup of coffee. If I cannot be there, then what? How does this reflect my professionalism and the commitment I have to clients. I have a growing company, I have a child in elementary school (interpretation:large petri dish). I’ve worked hard over the last eight years to create a company (as well as a little human being). Should I have to sacrifice business to be a mom? No, I just need to work more efficiently, think smarter or know when to ask for help (thinking smarter!). This time around though I will do things differently. Instead of help with family (I won’t sacrifice my personal life again), I will have more help with work. I can’t do it all and do it well. Expect to meet an assistant soon.
Juggling family life and work life is an every day balance, and the balance shifts quite often.
- Back to being a mom today. xxoo Carrie